A Fear of Flashing Light

by Paul Lesinski

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  • This is my first ever solo CD. Some of the tracks were written a couple of decades ago and others are brand new. Stylistically it's a good representation of my musical tastes - a little bit of straight rock, a little progressive, and some lighter material too. This digital version comes with a 12-page PDF booklet loaded with artwork, complete lyrics, credits, who played what, etc.


    I am making the downloadable CD available for free but if you want to help offset the cost and/or provide monetary support, feel free to kick down a suggested $5. (Or more. Or less. But don't worry too much about it - my main goal is for people to hear this music, not to make money). When you go to download the album, a box will pop up asking you for the amount. If you want it for free, enter "0." I hope you enjoy it! --Paul

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  • Compact Disc (CD)

    Would you rather have a physical CD in your hands? For $5 (shipping included), you'll receive your CD in a full-color 4-panel sleeve. The purchase price also includes an immediate download of the 12-track album and digital booklet in just about any digital format you could possibly desire. If you are feeling super generous, you have the option to name a price higher than $5 but again, no worries. Thanks!
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03:41
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3.
06:14
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05:20
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04:44
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05:02
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03:04
9.
04:51
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05:10
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04:46
12.

credits

released 01 June 2010

Produced and Mixed by Paul Lesinski and David Kendall
Recorded primarily at DJK Studios and Isorski Studios
Mastered by Steve Turnidge at Ars Divina/UltraViolet Studios in Seattle
All photos taken by Daniel Lesinski; digital booklet designed by Paul Lesinski

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Track Name: Wondering Why
Wondering Why

We’d meet some nights ‘neath the streetlight beam when the town had all gone down
We’d hop into my crapped out car and drive right out of town
She’d tell me she would go all out - do the whole nine yards
Depending on the things I said, the way I played my cards

We camped outside beneath the sky, the stars were pins of light
She said she’d guide my every move and make it all all right
Show me smoothly what to do and where to place my hand
I found myself in heaven again, off in another land

All my life - Wondering why - All my life

The naked night surrounded us, full moon the only eye
We’d often lay and talk of love or turn and smile and cry
But now that place is brown and bare, the vows all turned to lies
So now I drive on silently across this bridge of sighs

She’s been gone for two years now tho’ my memory’s sharp and clear
I recall her touch and scent, the taste of every tear
Driving all alone these days I’ll look to the night sky
I’ll see the stars we used to own and stop and wonder why

All my life - Wondering why
Track Name: The One
The One

Miles from one of a hundred stops and that haze of anticipation drops
And as western frames bleed through the panes, we chase each other through the splitting crops
And the wheels revolve towards your sunken town, sick feelings inside say you won’t be around
Still haven’t learned that when you’re burned, you can sense the type of flame just by its sound

And no matter what I say – No matter what I do
The dreams they fade to grey – Still I’m without you
Still I’m without you

Hissing tracks on the wet roadside, and the crumpled piles of small ones died
The machine it turns and the brain it burns with a thousand tears of maternal cries
Yet I’d give my arms, my legs, my head to sleep just a neighborhood from your bed
But in word or song the time is just as wrong, and I’ll be sleeping alone instead

Thought you were the one, Thought you were the one
Fall, crawl stand and run, Thought you were the one, one, one

Try to sleep off the drudgery, to not put you into the A to B
So my feet touch down and your nowhere found, and I don’t have to look for a hanging tree
‘Cause you’re in my head with my heart unfed, I turned you into my daily bread
It’s a chance I’d take, it’s a bond I’d break, but I guess I’d better try to mend instead
Track Name: Voices
Voices

The missionaries were gone - doors left open, lights are on
And the sound of rocks on water filled the air
The night it hung like a shawl - heartbeat slowing to a crawl
As they gazed in wonder - soundless thunder and all
To stand in wait for the sound of the boatman's call

The day began just the same as the one before, was not so strange
Then the word spread 'round by word of mouth and flame
And they started falling in pairs - the rest stood 'round unaware
But the world was changing, rearranging for sure
Round the fires stared the eyes of the pure

And the night made a sound like a hundred million voices screaming out
And a world of holy wrongs were set upright

And riding out of the haze - backlit white light through the maze
Came the horses drawing platforms loaded with flame
And blazing into the sky, celebration with some hell fire
As the chosen few separate from the pack
Bade farewell, moving forward not back

And the light that followed was great, and those that fear the coming change
Have to step aside and make a way for the now
New tracks to lay, ah, new fields to plow
Track Name: Walkin
Walkin

I’m looking through a thousand years, I’m looking through a mirror
I’m searching for some truth and light, but you’re using all my fear
Were you hardened by the elements, misshapen by the times
Used to be so innocent, naïve of all your crimes

I have known you all my life
Walk the dusty road in line
I have known you all my life
Far beneath the moonlit shine

People long to see you in that old familiar way
They don’t know that rail you road slipped to yesterday
Some would say it’s brutal and others say it’s fine
One more nail and one more shot, so black you start to shine

Now you walk the center line, seen beneath the pale
And the state lines pass you by, much closer to the grail
And your boots they kick the dust underneath your feet
And I’m waiting in the rocks for the moon we set to meet
Track Name: Shouldn't It Be Different
Shouldn’t It Be Different

Some nights I crawl out of my window
Sit on the cover of my house
Lay back and watch the moonlit clouds go rolling by
They are so quiet they are loud
Out on the Bay one of those barges inches by
How’s he gonna fit under that bridge?
Makes me shake loose every single peak and valley
Of all our shining streets and all our dark weird alleys

Now she’s dancing on dawn, She’s walking on water
Makes me think that I could’ve been a better man
Ripping up miles, Soaking up firelight
Shouldn’t it be different

And if somebody asked me why
Not like somebody ever did
I’d turn and look at you with mirrors in my eyes
And say some games they aren’t worth the win

A different place a different time
Different motive, different crime
Frame of reference, frame of mind

Shouldn’t it be different
Track Name: Comfort Zone
Comfort Zone

You’re the kind of spirit that I really need to cage
When I see you flying free I fall into a rage
Seems I cannot help myself, can’t get off my stage

Conversations with you like a preacher to a clan
The more I talk I really think the more you’ll understand
Break you down word by word to execute my plan

I don’t think I ever want to see you without me
I don’t think I ever want to have to set you free
Know that I’ll take nothing less than all eternity

‘Cause you’re the kind of spirit that I really need to own
Take you to the country, lock you down inside a home
I will be your family your friends your comfort zone

Every fiber in my soul screams that I am right
I will bring this love to my control with all my might
You’ll become so weary you won’t have the will to fight
Track Name: 38 by 74
38 by ‘74

I came back from the war, back in ‘74
I killed 38 men trying to even the score
From what went down there’s an echo around
See the tear in my eye, I didn’t want them to die

You ever kill a man? Henry asked me
Take a swig from the bottle, it’ll help you to see
You ever kill a man? Well you can catch it in his eye
I can hear those men die every night in my dream

In and out of the shelters I’m pushed like a ball
I roll and I fall, could never stop it all
I’m sick and I’m mad at what I could’ve had
So just play me a song and I’ll try to forget

And he said you got to help to get your brother back on his feet
You have to get your sister off of the street
You gotta get ‘em both something warm to eat
You gotta be as friendly to the others that you meet

Gotta be making my rounds, gotta get downtown
Get some visual perspective or just stare at the ground
I’m quick with a line and my wit is still mine
But I’m always on the run from the ghosts in my mind
Track Name: 1,000
1,000

The sea to my back down there, home to the front
The Guard will come from Treasure, hot from the hunt
Trails of bills behind broken left and right
Cabled down the one way drag tired from the fight

Had a job in the Mission saving the world
Blew it off like Sunset fog into a flag unfurled
Then I hopped through the bars one by one
Down China through the North Beach dredge and into the sun

I am 1,000, don’t use the shining phones
I am 1,000 throw down the bones

The sign said in flashing red, slow to 25
They know that’s been my plan since I been alive
Once I slept in the Golden Park ‘neath an imported tree
Stumbled drunken through the subway walls just beginning to see

You can’t run with the big dogs if you piss like a runt
You can't take home a kill if you don’t join the hunt
You don’t know where the border is until you cross the line
Can’t know how deep the water might be until you take the dive

I am 1,000, into the broken glass
I am 1,000 all things must pass
Track Name: Rescue
Rescue

Light shatters on the choice you made
And you’re in darkness again
How many times will you walk this path
I have to ask you my friend
Can’t reach you, can’t teach you
But through the glaze of a thousand days I need you

Does it give you sanctuary
Does it bring you peace
Does it give you a place to rest your bones
Five and one day and then you get some sleep
But in the meantime, please can you rescue me

Always been behind the lines
You’ve always taken the lead
Yeah but now the roles reverse
And you won’t listen to me
I change the medium to break the tedium
But when you slave to what you crave you feed them

So give me sanctuary
Give me peace
Can you give me a place to rest my bones
Five and one day, and then I get some sleep
But in the meantime please someone rescue me
Track Name: Sea of Breath
Sea of Breath

Sometime in the silent sleep
Walk with me, Walk with me
Shine, let the moment creep
Walk with me, Walk with me
Sunrise under slippery feet
Under time, seek the cool light green
Walk with me

And I dream a lot
Don’t know how to stop
I can let you through
Show you what to do

When the sunlight fades
Make your way through the neon blades

Not a need for word
We already heard
Let the pass of day
Put us on our way

Swim in eye so deep
Climb a mind so steep
Bring me to the air
Sea of breath to share
Sea of breath to share